Hola! I think it’s rather difficult to share my recent story by words. It gets more complicated. I’d love to write. I used to. However sometimes I just couldn’t find the right time in the middle of my-tiredfull-work-lyf.

Adult life, isn’t it? What phase of life is this? Why is this being so difficult to me? Like you know, after graduating, the most frequently question goes to “Kerja dimana?”. Well hey, I got a job, my salary and new stuffs. But hey, I am tired too. May I complain? I am afraid if complaining will be a new sin for me. 

You should catch me up. I am lack of motivation here, right now, at this time, in the moment I am down. I just need somebody who never get bored of my daily stories. I’ll listen your story every night, and I’ll be smiling at first when your name popping out my phone screen because it’s your incoming call, I could slide the answer option and hoping the star is shining on your part of the world before picking up the call. We’ll sleep late like you always do and you tell me to, so that I know how it feels to stay up late and have fun. So, call me up tonight!

I don’t want to stop having conversation, I don’t want you to stop hearing my daily frustrations wkwk. Same goes to my usual daily life, you know why can’t I leave alone/ngekos sendiri/and I prefer to have a roommate (a girl of course-my close friend) and a sharing room? I like sharing stories and perspectives. I can’t live alone. Bah! Hahaha! Like really, I am really depending on people in this thing (Silences could torture me. Sounds so lebay wkwk, but don’t judge, you don’t know what I’ve been through, yea?). I am independent (well, at least I see myself as it is, *your time to judge wqwq isoke), however regarding to my human-side-in-the-perspective-of-social-creature, I really am not comfort in living alone at home/kost. This is the intolerable fear/weakness in my life. Bukan manja kok, I can do this-and-that alone, go here-and-there alone, rule myself to do-and-don’t alone, but I just don’t like being lonely until the hardline of no-one-to-talk-with. I just hate it.

I would like being in the crowd with the beautiful noises of people talking in the café or resto, while me slurping a cup of hot chocolate and laughing at the same time after hearing your-garing-jokes or maybe your friend’s jokes that you steal. That's really ok for me.

You, yes you. How about we both catching up with our daily musings, frustrations and feelings? Do you like coffee? Nah? Nevermind. Let’s just have hot chocolate or thai tea in a cafe full of coffee, cause I like the coffee atmosphere and its sweet talk. It’s relieving. I am just damn good ready.

Aku hanya ingin belajar. Bukan belajar seperti di bangku sekolah tentang bagaimana cara membaca huruf alpabet, menghitung aljabar, atau mengidentifikasi rumusan masalah. Aku ingin belajar menikmati hidup. Memahami bagaimana mendapati nikmat dengan apa yg sudah aku punya saat ini. Aku ingin belajar segala sesuatu yg tidak kuketahui. Aku ingin bisa ini, aku ingin mampu begitu. Aku ingin tahu apa benar ada udang dibalik batu? Lah?! Wkwkw. Maka dari itu ajari aku.

Mentari yg hangat, embun yg sejuk, hawa udara dingin yg berhembus dari arah pegunungan ungaran pagi itu, membuatku merasa tenang dan damai. Daun-daun yg bagai terkena hembusan angin kehidupan itu kian membuatnya semakin menari, membuatku nyaman berada disitu. Semakin nyaman. Aku di zona nyaman itu. Aku ingin pergi, tp ku tak mau pergi. Aku begini. Sungguh mati. Susah dipahami. "Ku lari ke hutan, kemudian menyanyiku. Ku lari ke pantai, kemudian teriakku. Sepi sepi dan sendiri. Aku benci." Atau aku harus lari ke hutan lalu belok ke pantai? Hm. Entahlah. Apalah. Bagaimanalah kiranya jika ku lari-lari lalu kau berteriak menyemangati. Mungkin akan jadi lebih hepi. Ya, mungkin bila nanti.

-Tulisan anak sepi, yg sedari tadi bosan berdiri, lalu sekarang duduk di bangku antri damri.

Hello fellas! Long time no post, long time no story.
Cerita gue banyak banget sebenernya. Beberapa bulan ini gue mengalami ups and downs yang cukup rumit. Waktu berlalu begitu cepat, gue nggak tahu mana yg harus gue ceritain. Kalo lagi capek, sakit, seneng, marah, sedih, pengen teriak, gue selalu inget sama blog gue ini. Emang sih gue juga cerita sama temen2 deket gue atau curhat sama nyokap. But, it feels different kalo lewat blog, gue ngerasa bakal inget lagi momen-momen itu lewat kata-kata yang gue tulis disini. Ya nggak sih? Kadang gue suka flashback gitu lewat postingan blog gue ini ke masa dimana gue galau atau gue lagi seneng sama sesuatu, lagi kesel sama apa, dsb.

Well, alhamdulillah gue bersyukur banget sekarang ini gue dalam kondisi stabil. 14 Februari 2017 yang lalu gue udah lulus sidang skripsi. Leganya subhanallah walhamdulillah Allahu Akbar!! Seriusss, gue tidur nyenyak banget sambil senyum2, setelah 2 minggu sebelumnya harusnya gue udah sidang tapi kena reschedule karna dosbing gue berhalangan hadir. Ya mungkin emang gue ditakdirkan untuk bereforia tepat saat hari valentine. Lumayan kan, dapet bunga sama coklat enak-enak dan ucapan selamat dari orang-orang. Gue masih inget rasanya malem itu. Ga bisa berhenti senyum sambil liat hp balesin ucapan2 temen.

*to be continued*